Anxieties

There are moments when they are overwhelming, the moments when we choke, when we feel like we are dying, falling in the void, when we startle for the least little noise and call for help to God without pride.


There are moments when they seem to have disappeared... but they are still there, like a background program always running...


Without knowing it, we behave so as to keep them hidden in the background, contained. We stick to reassuring routines, which don't cost much energy.... 

We need the energy to keep them under control. This routines can take many forms, sometimes they are called addictions, and sometimes they are just "comfort zones"  


Anxieties. Feelings of feeling horrible, feelings of having to but having not to, feelings of waste, of fear, of damnation.


There are remedies. Long term remedies, Things to practice when we can, when we think of it, when suddenly we have no choice. Making a stop. No thinking, no distraction. No action. Just feeling. Being where we are, not where we strive. Slowing down, breathing, just being where we are. That's meditation. And maybe, maybe, calling for help and trusting we are heard.

 

 

This too will pass...

Sometimes the feelings that come up to the surface are burning like hell, and sometimes cold like drowning in a swamp at night. (Even though drawing in a swamp in broad daylight is probably not much of a treat)


This too will pass...


If karma is a reality, maybe all that was well deserved after all?


Shame is far worse than fear. Without shame, fear would be just a difficulty to deal with. With shame, fear becomes unmanageable.


This too will pass....


Shame is worse than guilt, With guilt we can somehow find ways to pay our debt, but shame doesn't work like an overdraft on a bank account. Shame is a hot iron mark.


This too will pass....


Life is fragile. Live is vulnerable. Life too will pass.


Human beings have invented all kinds of tortures for themselves, since the world is world. Shame and guilt are like though weeds - terrible invaders with long long roots and flowers of pride.


Life is not a spontaneous hero.


Who taught us fear for the first time? The wholly mammoth? That's quite understandable...


This too will pass...


During World War 1 people had not given the name of "Shell shock" to a certain state. Those who were affected were considered cowards - and they thought of themselves as "cowards" because there was not other way to understand being overwhelmed by fear...


During World War 2 they invented the expression "Shell Shock"


Nowadays, we even acknowledge the existence of "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" and that's a good antidote to shame to see it like that.... if you can.


Everything will pass.


Life if fragile and the effects of all unhealed traumas are passed down through generations...


This too will pass...

Mahikari

When I was 25 I met friends I hadn't seen for five or six years. Loads had happened since I last saw them: they were married, had children and he had multiple sclerosis.


They also belonged to a new religion, created in Japan in 1962, called Mahikari. The main practice was spiritual healing, with a lot of Japanese style rituals, prayers and so on.


They told me that since they belonged there, his state as multiple sclerosis sufferer had stabilised and that he even had been able to stop medication.


I was not very attracted by getting into religious stuff, but I didn't want to be close minded either so I decided to give it a try. I joined Mahikari.


A few months later I was initiated, I received a sacred object - a medallion -


This medallion was a real problem. You were supposed to have it on you all the time, but it couldn't touch any part of the body lower than the navel, it couldn't be touched by another person and couldn't be wet either.


To take a shower, it was necessary to say special prayers to ask for protection, put the sacred object in a sacred box on the highest shelve of the house, say another prayer, go take the shower, then without wasting time, say a prayer to thank God for the protection and put the medallion back on. All the prayers were in ancient Japanese....


The amazing thing was that the spiritual healing worked. The moment of my "initiation", when I received the sacred medallion that had been consecrated somewhere in Japan, I felt pins and needles switched on in my palms


I started experimenting, with success. I remember a child who was crying because she had an ear infection - Five minutes of my hand at 20 cm of the ear and the pain was gone. A guy with a medical metallic device getting out of his leg - he had had multiple fractures was in great pain. Five minutes or so or my hands sending "divine light" ... and he was smiling. I had many similar experiences. It was like magic!


I even changed the taste of wine... It was really bad wine, the cheapest brand that my sceptical and atheist friends were drinking to get drunk when they had no money for weed.


I poured a glass, put it aside, put my hands around the bottle for about 10 minutes.... It did not turn into good wine but It didn't burn the throat anymore, like the wine left in the glass still did. My friends had to admit the difference was obvious. They remained as atheists as they were anyway, but I didn't care about that. I was really enjoying the experience!

I remained a member of Mahikari for about one year, but it was quite a pain in the arse to follow all the rituals, and the people in there were everything but wise.


The teachings, which were supposed to be revealed for the first time in the history of humanity, were just a rewriting of traditional esoteric or religious teachings. Nothing new.


The little chiefs really believed that they were as infallible as the catholic pope when doing their little chief job.... I heard a woman once say: "God is talking through my mouth, so shut up and listen to me!"...


One day I had enough. I profaned the sacred medallion. I opened it (something nobody should never do) I put the little consecrated piece of paper with a sign on it in the bin with the medallion and I was done with it.


However, later on I noticed that I could still feel the pins and needles in my palms. So I carried on practising spiritual healing or energy healing, whatever we call it, without any ritual or prayers in ancient Japanese. Sometimes, it works, headaches or belly aches vanish. However, long term conditions don't evaporate in five or fifty five minutes of hands imposition indeed... Those who expect that should remember that standard medicine doesn't heal you with one pill either. 

One day someone told me that this experience simply unlocked a gift I had. Maybe. Today, many people do energy healing, with one appellation or another. Well, I do it as well!... 

I even do it from a distance... (just ask!)  Life is surprising! 

Play dough self

Once upon a time there was a piece of play-dough that went nuts because it wanted to be its authentic self and it had none.

For the time being, it was looking like a giraffe with a knot in its neck. The feeling was horrible.

"Poor bit of nothing special" said a bright yellow Buddha with pink eyes, "the authentic self is but an illusion!"

A hand grasped the Buddha and turned it into a laughing cow. The giraffe with a knot in its neck had an epilepsy crisis which paradoxically untangled it.

Dear bits and pieces or nothing special, you will live happily ever after anyway.

 

Invisible bridge over the river

Many different people have many different truths, and that's alright...

Now, if my truth is that there is a bridge over the river when in fact there is none, I am at risk of getting wet. 

If I invite other people to walk with me on the bridge that doesn't exist, this could be worrying for those who don't see any bridge over the river. They will wonder....Can they all swim? Leave my children alone! 

They will tell me that I am wrong to talk about a bridge that doesn't exist to gullible people and I will feel upset about it.

But that's my truth! That's my right to share my truth! There is a bridge over the river! Cross it now. Don't let the mind and its fears hold you back.

Don't you see me walking on it?



Jean-Marc Pierson
http://jeanmarcpierson.com