Until the last day of his life there were nights when he would wake up, sweating and trembling,as if he was still about to be killed by his father - lying on his back, staring at the older man waving a knife.
He saw clearly. There was no shadow of a doubt. His father would have killed him without hesitation. His own father, whom he trusted with all his young boyish soul, would have cut his throat.
It was not the first time Isaac had accompanied his father on top of a hill for a burnt offering. It all seemed quite normal. Rituals are routine.
He believed he was the cherished son. He would never believe it again.
At the last moment, God stopped Abraham. However, God did not stop him before Isaac felt stabbed in the back and in the heart. He would have done it.
God wanted to test Abraham. Faith was what mattered. Isaac, son of Abraham, would have descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky.
Isaac didn't want descendants. He wanted to have a father who would do anything to save him.
He knew there was no way to thwart the Almighty, but couldn't his father have fallen on his knees and begged? Couldn't he have offered his own life to save his son's?
When God planned to destroy Sodom, Abraham did argue with the Lord, wondering whether the Almighty would destroy the righteous along with the wicked... At that time, God listened to Abraham and acknowledged the validity of his plea. Isaac had heard the story but on that day, on the mountain, there had been no attempt to bend the Lord's will.
Isaac was extremely relieved when God stopped his father just a split second before he plunged the knife in his throat. However, something within him had died.
What kind of man was Abraham? Was he jealous of his son to comply so willingly? Was he envious of his youth?
In Isaac's view, and maybe in God's, Abraham did fail the test.
A ram would take Isaac's place. Abraham's son would watch, with infinite compassion, the fate of the scapegoat...
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